Writing on Dance with Claudia La Rocco

The Writing on Dance Class, taught by the freelance critic Claudia La Rocco, finished its six-week session recently. In one assignment, she asked students to experiment with the style and format of their reviews. This produced a range of unusual critical responses - and a few that we feel are downright inspired. Enjoy.

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Review of an unnamed dance concert
written on April 14, 2008
by David Parker

moving retro wallpaper patterns, fractal images, screensavers projected over women in their twenties doing yoga poses and strings of inscrutable gesture
cultivated indifference
Wallpaper Magazine
dark eyebrows, glinting cheekbones
sets like glam-rock jungle gyms made from interlocking wooden polka dots shot through with dancers in sparkly camisoles
sloe-eyed amazons with puritan forebearance
no men
day-glo lighting
miso soup for lunch
shoulder blades
audience is glad it’s a stylish show
a playground where nobody has any fun
the space is defined by the sets, the dancers locomote only rarely through space
spread toes, flattened shoulders, lowered chins, half-opened eyes, spines like television antennae, hands like spoons
closed mouths, taut hips, rooted heels
everything’s at the same speed
half-forgotten manifestos
audience disapproves of its own confusion
man in grey suit plays piano onstage but ignores women dancing
piano seems to have kitchen utensils stuck up in its exposed strings
the utensils remind me of the dancers
they’re for use not pleasure
women ignore the music
coughing
dancers adhere to an unknown doctrine, they walk backward very slowly into the wings, they move only at one speed, they fear sudden change, they never hurry, they cherish vertical equilibrium
audience is guilty that it feels bored
large body shapes pass by without comment or consequence
these people would never do anything embarrassing
I don’t trust them
audience doesn’t know when it’s over but hoots during the curtain call

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Online review of Seán Curran Company
performed at Dance Theater Workshop, April 22-26, 2008
Posted by AsertyDances

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Jillian Peña’s Mothership
performed at Dance Theater Workshop April 16-19, 2008
Audience Psychological Profile

By Cory Nakasue

There are no correct answers. Please choose the answer that comes
closest to how you felt MOST OF THE TIME.

The opening projected images of water and hills:

A. Reminded me of an Atari video game.
B. Were huge.
C. Could not compete with the two women in pantyhose flanking the huge Atari video game.

The two female dancers on the pedestals:

A. Like the smell of incense.
B. Were 1970s futuristic-science fiction ambassadors welcoming us to their planet.
C. Lovely spokesmodels for Mediterranean tourism and real estate.

While watching this piece, I found it was most helpful to:

A. Keep an open mind
B. Meditate
C. Ignore the song about cunnilingus

The leader of this Mothership:

A. Is a bird
B. Is the disembodied voice
C. Is Me
D. Is my therapist

After watching this piece:

A. I would like to see more dance
B. I would like to go in to therapy
C. I would like to buy a house in Greece
D. All of the above

True or False:

If the chasm between the virtual and the visceral cannot be bridged, we are left only to contemplate the chasm itself.